A GRIEVIOUS FAMILY HISTORY

“ … you shall call his name Ishmael, for the Lord has given heed to your affliction. He will be a wild ass of a man, with his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him and he shall live at odds with all his brethren.” (Genesis 16: 11-12.)

So she said to Abraham. “Cast out this slave woman wither son; for the son of this slave woman shall not inherit along with my son Isaac” Genesis 21 :10

I have a confession to make. I have oftentimes sympathized with the outcastes in the Bible than with heroes. And on this point my sympathies are with Hagar the slave girl, and her son Ishmael. How do you live with the knowledge that your mum had been abused and the fact that she had no rights in the house. And later when Isaac was born, his mother was literally driven out. Imagine Ishmael’s hatred for Sarah and Isaac. I am not in the least surprised when God saw the future life of Ishmael - He shall be a wild donkey of a man. It certainly was a very painful rejection for Ishmael and it was going to govern his hostile attitude towards the Jewish people later on.

“God was with the boy, and he grew up, he lived in the wilderness and he became and expert with the bow.” (Genesis 21: 20)

Have you ever imagined what target Ishmael had in his mind and heart as he shot his arrows in the wilderness. What was he thinking? The stage had been set for future conflicts.

Today we have such a phrase as “He comes from a dysfunctional family.” There are cases on record of children shooting their own fathers and sometimes both their parents. The years of verbal abuse, rejection and the feelings of being unwanted and unloved finally led to the hidden volcanoes erupting.

My own theory is that every family has its own history, or rather their own baggage. Rejections can be a very terrible thing, more so when it comes from within ones own family. Perhaps your life story is somewhat similar to Ishmael and you too have the temperament of an Ishmael because of past offenses and abuses and rejections. And when you are provoked, your fire burns again.

May I give you a word of caution? Don’t play the victim. One of the best books I have read is titled “Victimology”, how some people play the victim throughout their lives. Our Holy Scriptures reveals that even the Lord Jesus Christ was rejected by his own countrymen. Indeed one of the saddest features of Ishmael’s life is that he never turned to God and ask what was life’s purpose for him. If he had just looked upward and asked for direction, God would have shown him something. But he never asked what God his father Abraham worshipped. That was a real tragedy. And so the old hatred and revenge remained with him throughout his life.

One thing is certain in life- we cannot undo the past. There is not a man on this planet who can rewrite our personal history or family history. One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to live a life of regrets. Move on in the light and may God built you a sure future - better than the past relationships. May God give you the grace to laugh again and may you live to see the day and say- Thank God for the past- God used it to make me what I am today!” You need to read the story of Joseph again, how his brothers sold him off as a slave. There is only one thing worth keeping in our hearts- in the midst of treachery, betrayal, rejection, lies and imprisonment- but God was with Joseph.” And the God of Joseph is your Lord and Saviour and He can do the same with you